I was on a recent flight from Christchurch to Wellington, New Zealand. I'd been warned that this particular flight can be a harrowing experience because the Wellington airport is always windy and the runway dumps off into the ocean. Great.

One of the flight attendants on board transformed a bumpy hour flight in a packed plane, into a welcoming and enlightening experience. Aaron, I learned, has been a flight attendant on Air New Zealand for over 30 years and is rather well known for his approach to working with customers, because of his approach.

During the flight he spoke to just about everyone on the DC-9, and in some way or another, managed to get laughter or conversation out of all. A father and son sat in the row behind us, as an example, and Aaron managed to convince them to have a water drinking contest in which each would compete to see who could drink the glass of water that Aaron had poured, fastest. They did it three times, the last one garnering applause from the passengers around them.

As I watched Aaron working the flight, I thought about the idea of connection and engagement. These are two words I often use in my writing and presentations, but these words have, like so many before it, been co-opted into business speak, and are becoming suspicious.

Aaron wasn't working that flight as a strategy for connection or engaging others, he did it because he's a nice guy, he likes people, and it makes his work less of a burden. That's it. I don't think this can be taught (there is some evidence supporting that claim) in a classroom, or with a program.

If we want more energy in our workplaces, the first step may be to give up trying to train for it. Sure, we can show videos and suggest reading materials as a way of inspiring people, but most of that won't last long haul.

The second step is to invest some time into looking at what gets in the way of Natural Energy, what handcuffs our creativity to the predictable, and what presents static? It seems the nature of business is to always add more, more, and more. Every meeting, as an example, seems to generate more work, more paper, more rules, more programs and processes. Much of what we generate gets in the way of real energy, and can hamper freedom.

So, hire the right people or get the right job and then spend the rest of your time looking at what needs to be taken away. If you do, it seems to me, there will be more space for you, or those you work with or manage, to add the one thing that has the biggest impact on others...themselves.