Infinite Offers

I read James Carse interesting little book, "Finite and Infinite Games: A Vision of Life as Play and Possibility", and was struck by his provocative notion that we are either playing our life as a finite game, where we are committed to winning and there are winners and losers, or we're playing the infinite game, where it isn't about winning a game, but about continuing to play.  

The corporate world is, with few exceptions, deeply embedded in the finite world of creating winners and losers.  It is a game where domination and capture is the goal, and "crushing" the competition is the triple home run.  It's the world of big job titles and corner offices, and pricey status icons that imply winners and losers. 

The infinite approach, however, is about focusing energies on building sustainable relationships with our customers and coworkers. In this frame there isn't the emphasis on job titles and corner office politics, instead it's focused on ensemble, and recognizing our capacity to keep the game going by creating options and open relationships, and forgoing our quest for conquering. 

The Top Performer recognizes that while gags, gimmicks, and tightly written scripts can be useful for entertaining and delighting audiences, it can also force a perspective that minimizes the audiences involvement and interaction. This is a fine model, and it's what the best theater and many service encounters are built around. But it's when things go wrong, or another possibility emerges that challenges our direction, or there is a complaint or contrasting opinion, that we might consider using the infinite model. Rather than "solve the problem" or "resolve the issue" we can see problems, diversions and breakdowns as gifts, or "offers". In this sense, we see the "heckler" in any situation as an expansive offering, an invitation to embrace our mutual creative capacity and innovation. 

Many years ago I remember performing for a large group of people at a renaissance festival in Arizona. I was in the midst of interacting with a woman, who had a stroller with a young baby. I had taken her camera and was about to take her picture when a heckler approached the crowd and changed the focus. Rather than play the finite game by closing him down, or letting him defeat my performance, I embraced his offer. I pulled him into my performance, stood him next to this woman and her child, and then assembled a dozen other people to also be in the picture I was going to take. Instead of being a heckler, he became a willing member of the performance, he had fun and played along with the portrait, and as a result of his involvement he made the moment better for all. 

You see, we have so many choices available to us in almost any encounter. The finite game is about minimizing others, narrowing the choices, assessing blame, or demonstrating strength. Finite, is about amplification, infinite is resonance and ensemble.

As you go about your day today think about what game you are playing when you interact with others. Think about the ways in which you seek to bring an end to the game, often so you can win. TThink about how you might turn that game around, and think about an approach that might keep the game going, that expands the great creative potential, not just in ourselves, but for everyone we meet with, work with, live with and serve. Expansion provides everyone with greater freedom, and freedom allows more offers to be made, and that is reason enough to give it a try. 

Comments

[Steven Miller]

Wonderfully written, Carr. You are a great source of inspiration. Please keep up the good work!